The results are in: Is it Post Partum Blues or just your husband being an asshole?

I remember reading a quote that said “before you get diagnosed with depression make sure your not just surrounded by assholes.”

So… is it PPD, or is your husband just being an asshole? I asked some moms and this is how they answered.

Well there you have it.

Before you go and get diagnosed with Post Partum Depression maybe you should go to couples therapy, or stop hanging out with assholes.

Naps… or trying.

4FF86000-8B46-4E01-BCBA-ABCB79635812.jpegAre you getting ready for daycare? Or did you hit the 4 months nap regression and you are freakin out that your great napper is now only doing 1/2 hour to 45 minute naps.

There are some options and you have to figure out what is right for you.

Naps should be great right?! But naps can really suck…

It’s hard to really sleep train a newborn to nap. The main thing to do would take notes for a week. Figure out a plan, and try to implement it and be consistent, but remember flexibility is also okay when it’s needed. Babies might start teething or get a cold or just not be ready.

I included some sample schedules below as well, from Babywise, and some that other moms have shared with me.

Step one: take notes of when your baby seems tired and how long they are napping each day. What your tried, what worked, what didn’t work etc. this changes at different months. Wake time gets longer, and the amount of sleep at night can affect napping.

Step two: get a plan and be consistent for like a week. Do the same thing everyday. Figure out the times the baby needs to nap. At three months wake time should be about 1- 1.5 hours and then about a 1-1.5 hour nap. Feedings are included in wale time. The cycle for the first few months is usually every 2.5-3 hours. So wake time and then every 2.5-3 hours put her down for a nap. I feed my baby when she wakes up. Some moms feed the baby to sleep. I do that because it helps her sleep at night. I do feed her before her bed time feed or whenever she seems particularly hungry. Which I learned from the babywise book.

At 4.5 ish to 5.5 months my baby has 2 hour wake times. So the cycle adjusts.

Decide how you are going to put her down, swaddle, pacifier? In the crib? And put her down.


I never could do cry it out… Babies that age really can’t self sooth yet so if she freaks out if I kept her up too late, I usually give her some milk. And put her down and walk away. If she wakes up when i put her down I might hold her hand or coddle her face or shush, if that doesn’t work i pick her up and try again and might employ the 5 S’s. But some moms do cry it out/ ferber method. Some sleep consultants will have you do whatever your plan is, and then stay in the room close to the crib for 1-2 days, day 3-4 farther away, 5-6 at the door, 7 out the door etc.

Some moms do cry it out for like a week at 3 months and swear the baby sleeps like a champ afterwards. Cry it out never worked for my little one. She just gets very very upset. And then I get upset and the days feel like crap.

Real life:

Schedule your errands around when their naps will be. Nap time? Start driving.

When my baby was this age she was in the swing most naps. Then 4 month hit and her naps turned into half hour naps. And I end up holding her or taking a nap with her so I can rest bc sometimes it’s just less of a hassle and she would sleep longer then 1/2 hour. Or i can get work done or read etc. But the daycare …they will probably help train her if she’s not fully there.

I’ve heard of kids getting fully potty trained after a week of daycare.


When she is in daycare will she still be getting 12 hours at night? This might influence her naps.

Remember, be flexible. They are little babies and love being warm and hugged and smell good. Sometimes they just aren’t ready and you might need to take a break and try again. Or change up whatever your schedule is that isn’t working, step by step.

Breastfeeding tips

A lot of new moms don’t know the basics of breastfeeding which is expected because it is a lot to learn! Not everyone is taught about it by their family like you would maybe expect for something so natural, a lot of our parents and grandparents may have not know the benefits, or been pressured to use formula or just not known they had options.

Not to mention the sleep deprivation of a hospital, and the first few weeks, and getting sent home after a whirlwind experience with your first child! A new baby you have no idea what to do with! It’s a lot to handle!

Many moms get scared and discouraged and start supplementing with formula right away, creating a cycle of low supply and nipple confusion for the baby.

Here are my tips to help, it’s a long list but if you get through it all you might learn a lot that you did not know before.

I am not a doctor but these are some things that did help me.

  1. Before giving birth make sure you are eating healthy natural glucose. Such as: bananas, potatoes, sweet potatoes, honey, dates, pears, etc. The point is to get a glucose storage in the liver. Not having enough glucose storage can cause the milk to not come in. This is not very common but for moms whose milk never came in this may be a reason. Breastmilk is basically sugar water with mom’s antibodies. Remember eating organic is best. It may be more expensive but eating foods with GMOs just gives the liver more of a toxic overload which is not good for you or the baby. Also buy raspberry leaf tea. Don’t drink it too close to your due date because it can start labor, unless you want it to. These are the foods you will want to remember when your supply dips as well. And don’t forget about avocado! Avocados make up is very similar to breast milk.
  2. B12 is also a good supplement to have on hand. One with adenosylcobalamin. Stay away for cyanocabalamin because it is synthetic. Stress can deplete glucose storage so after giving birth take a few droppers full. Medical medium has a good list of organic and non gmo supplements also has the best b12 at the moment.
  3. Make sure the baby is placed on you right away after birth. Include in your birth plan you want skin to skin right away and delayed cord clamping until the cord stops pulsating. Some doctors will tell you 30 seconds is enough. But 3 minutes is better then 30 seconds if they give you a hard time. Skin to skin contact, and eye contact with the baby helps with milk coming in. Anything you do put in your birth plan, if you make one, will need to be verbally stated to everyone in the room.
  4. Delay the bath. Breastfeeding rates increase with delayed washing of the vernix. Research all the benefits of delaying the bath.
  5. Put the baby on the nipple ASAP. Giving birth is hardwork. Include in the birth plan you want the baby to stay in the room and ask them to check the baby on you or to wait until you are ready to ask you if they can take the baby to the in-room scale etc. The first hour is important for bonding and getting the baby on the nipple as soon as possible. They are most awake in that first hour. The sooner they suck the sooner your milk will come in (ie day 3-5). And babies sleep a ton in the beginning, so getting them on the nipple while they are awake the first hour is best. It’s a natural instinct for them to suck.
  6. Don’t get discouraged if they don’t latch right in the first few days. And try not to freak out and start supplementing. If you start supplementing too soon then your supply won’t come in as well because the supply is based on demand then supply, the more the baby demands the more your body will produce, I wrote about that more further down. Supplementing too soon starts a cycle where your supply is low.
  7. Try to not use a pacifier right away, or bottles. If you can breastfeed exclusively its best to wait at least 6 weeks before introducing a bottle. Some babies get confused with the sucking patterns for different things and might destroy your nipple or get lazy, if they have too many different sucking strengths needed to get milk.
  8. I tried to not use a pacifier for a few days but really, I caved pretty quickly and it didn’t cause nipple confusion for my little one and really saved us from falling apart completely in those first few sleep deprived weeks. You can also ask the nurse for one if you don’t have one. But you might want to wait until the baby learns to latch.
  9. It is a learning process for you and for your little one. You have to learn how to get your boob in their mouth and they have to learn to suck. Your nipples will hurt so ask the nurse for some nipple cream or get some on amazon. I hardly really used the one I bought, the few packs they gave me in the hospital were really enough. My nipples bled in the first week, scabbed and hurt, but after that first week, the baby and I both pretty much learned how to breastfeed.
  10. They will fall asleep a lot. Basically feed them as much as humanly possible. It’s called feed on demand and you will be doing it for about 3 weeks. Basically live with your nip in their mouth. Don’t feel weird with all of the hospital workers who come into the room seeing your nips either. They see it all the time. And if your family is weird about it… just cover up. But remember to not cover the babies head. It’s a common thought moms should cover the babies head. You should always be able to see your babies face. It’s good for people to see it’s normal as well. Boppys are great, and tank tops you can pull down. I used my maternity pants forever that go high up as well so I wasn’t completely shirtless.
  11. Ask for help from the lactation consultants. Ask again and again if you need to see them more.
  12. Most mom’s milk doesn’t come in until day 4 ish fully. The first few days the baby doesn’t really need to eat much. Their stomachs are so small. Also they don’t really even need to eat right away because they still have all of the nutrients from the placenta. So don’t worry if your milk is not in for a few days, but still feed on demand. This is normal and what all moms experience. You will be sleep deprived and so worried. But as long as the baby is pooping and peeing the baby is getting something. The colostrum is thicker and doesn’t flow freely like milk will later, so you won’t necessarily see it coming out. When you get used to how your new mom boobs work you can try to pinch/pull your nipple and you will see some of the liquid come out after a day or two of feeding on demand.
  13. Some moms supplement with formula because the baby has jaundice.  It’s not necessary unless the jaundice is very high. If your doctor says supplement and that is what you want to do of course do it. My baby had jaundice and we just continued to breastfeed. My milk did not fully come in until day 4. And not heavy for a few days later. Her jaundice peaked and then started to go down day 4 as well. I don’t think it fully left her system for a few weeks. But she gained weight like a champ. Literally I have a huge baby.
  14. Your baby will lose weight, and then start gaining, this is normal! But if your worried talk to your doctor. My baby lost about 1.8 lbs in the first few days, but by the end of the week was back to her birth weight.
  15. Drink 6-8 oz of water everytime you breastfeed.
  16. Don’t try sleep training until around 4 weeks, but learn about it. Babies aren’t able to self soothe until 4-6 months so cry it out is useless. But there are other ways of sleep training. I used the babywise book, and never used cry it out. First 2-3 weeks don’t even look at the clock just feed constantly. If the baby is sleeping you will wake the baby up every 2.5-3 hours to feed, and then try to keep them awake for a bit after you feed them. This is play time and hygiene time.
  17. What I took from the babywise books: Basically at 4 weeks, the baby is able to sleep 4 hours at night (capable but doesn’t mean they will). 5 weeks old, the baby can sleep 5 hours at night, 6 weeks/ 6 hours at night, and so on, until 12 weeks, the baby can sleep 12 hours at night. They probably won’t, but they can (if they are the right weight). Breastfeeding moms are recommended to not go past 10 hours generally to keep supply up, if needed.
  18. Learn about the “5 S’s” as well.
  19. Don’t supplement with formula because the baby is crying in the first couple of days. Babies cry. Hold your baby, feed on demand. They will hate their bassinets, hold them and cuddle.
  20. The little one will sleep a lot and fall asleep while feeding. It’s ok. Rub their feet, pat their back, try to wake them, move them around. But it won’t work half of the time. Just let them sleep on you and suck while they sleep.
  21. The more they suck, the more your body will produce. It’s is DEMAND and THEN SUPPLY. The more they suck/demand, the more your body will know they need and so will supply.
  22. How much milk should you be making? I see moms getting upset because their boobs only produce about 3 ounces and I get confused why moms think their boobs will make more. Most babies only drink about 3 ounces every 2.5-3 hours the first few weeks and even all the way until 6 months. That’s all they need. In the mornings, once your milk is more regular you will probably get around 5 ounces.
  23. I see moms also get mad at one boob because it makes less then the other. This is totally normal. Especially if that was the boob the baby last fed on.
  24. Some lactation consultants will tell you to do 15 minutes on each boob at a feeding. I just did one boob at a time. And I still do generally just feed my baby one boob at a time. Both options is ok and whatever you do is fine.
  25. Try to remember which boob the baby fed on last, and start with the opposite boob the next time. You will literally be exhausted and have a hard time remembering especially right away. A trick I learned is to wear a bracelet on whichever hand you fed on last and switch it over when you feed, so you can remember which boob is next.
  26. Your supply will be higher in the mornings. Especially when the baby starts to sleep more through the night. Your milk gathers while you sleep and rest the most.
  27. If you are pumping and not getting enough remember that sucking usually gets more out because the baby can suck better then the pump.
  28. If you are feeding the baby stored milk, remember that you would have to pump around that time or your milk supply might be lower the next day. Nothing an adjustment can’t level out the following day.
  29. You can squish milk out of the ducts. Seriously as you get farther along you will learn your boobs are like that song “do you ears hang long, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?” Like forreal. Play with your boobs, move them around, get that milkies out!
  30. Don’t worry if your milk supply gets low. Foods to eat the whole time you are breastfeeding are potatoes, sweet potatoes, bananas and raspberry leaf tea. But utilize them especially when you need a supply boost.
  31. Raspberry leaf tea is amazing. Buy a few boxes and use it whenever you need to make more milk.
  32. Your supply will even out around 3 months.
  33. It seems hard at first, but it really gets so easy.
  34. Also for babies who have a hard time latching, some moms use nipple shields to help, if their nipples maybe don’t stick out, or something like that.
  35. Some moms pump for every feeding too, because of latch issues.
  36. Some other things: babie have hiccups and silent reflux, Gripe juice helps with both. Drinking milk helps get rid of hiccups as well.
  37. I thought my baby had reflux bad but really she just was learning how to poop and that’s why she was grunting so much when we put her in her bassinet. Some moms buy crib wedges or resort to have their babies sleep in rock and play sleepers. Just research or ask your doctor.
  38.   You will probably try 100 different swaddles. My favorite was the miracle swaddle because it has an extra set of flaps to hold the baby’s arms down so they can’t escape. You can also use a flannel swaddle inside of a velcro one, or inside any swaddle to hold the baby’s arms down. Fold in into a strip, under the shoulder area of the baby, and fold it over the baby’s one arm, and repeat on the other side, tucking it under the baby. Then swaddle regularly. Make sure the baby’s arms are not too tight and fingers aren’t squished.
  39. Some supplements can make breast milk dry up. Your prenatal will be fine, remember organic is best. I also take vitamin c and zinc especially when I’m feeling like I might be coming down with something or around someone who has. This is fine for the baby and supply as well.
  40. Just keep going! Breast is best because of the antibodies and for other health benefits but if for some reason you do have to supplement, your an amazing mom and whatever you need to do is what YOU DO! Your the mommy, you will do what is best, what you do, is what is best.
  41. If you get sick you don’t have to stop feeding! Keep feeding just wash your hands a lot.
  42. If baby gets sick, saline nasal spray, nose sucker, lots of breast milk, and whatever your practioner tell you.

Children’s health

This is collected information about children’s health from medical medium mostly, and some from Suzanne humprhies and my pediatrician. I recommend this information for children dealing with sickness, rsv, Flu, eczema, earaches, pertussis, general health issues do to sluggish liver, skin issues, cradle cap, acne, etc.

“Children’s health” medical medium:

Look up medical medium Preferred supplements

Medical medium has great liver cleanse information in the form of foods and supplements: he has a children’s health podcasts/SoundCloud’s, and on his fb page, and a section in the liver rescue book on children’s health with some dosages or supplements

Do organic, non gmo as much as possible

*celery juice for liver cleansing, wild blueberries amazing for liver, papaya gentle and cleansing for the liver, banana great for throat issues, antiviral
*Zinc can give babies a few drops throughout the year, whenever fighting anything viral
*vegan b12 with adenosylcobalamin
* Vitamin C** liposomal is easier to give to babies or the powder form for whooping cough, rsv other respiratory issues see bowel tolerance or Suzanne humprhies protocol..::or to boost immune system they only need tiny amounts from breast milk or supplements. . Ester-c from vimergy etc. for older kids/ adults… check the preferred supplements list for latest organic non gmo recommendations ( i always recommend Suzanne humprhies vitamin c protocol when very sick ) vitamin c dose is babies weight in lbs % 2.2 x 375 spread through the day.
* If they aren’t very sick don’t need to do the whole dose, what you feel comfortable with, but if they do have pertussis it’s recommended to keep it up much after the symptoms go away.
*No more heavy metals
*None of the “no foods” (eggs, dairy , gluten, gmos, lower your animal fats)*
*antibiotics feed strep

Also: Lemon balm, lemon balm tea, thyme tea, thyme, cilantro, olive leaf, asparagus gets rid of toxins, antivirals.

cucumber juice for fever

– [ ] Maryruth for kids multivitamin and multimineral
– [ ] Zinc -chronic ear infections, mono tonsilitis, sinus infections , anything viral
– [ ] Elderberry syrup all through the winter do not want to buy anything with alcohol in it it dilutes the healing properties and isn’t a good supplement

Baby cradle cap: olive oil bc it is more moisturing, can mix with coconut oil, put on head, comb out. Wash, repeat a few days later. It is a heavy metal issue in the liver, releasing toxins through the skin and sebum forms to protect the skin. Moms if breastfeeding eliminate “no” foods (eggs, dairy, gluten, gmos, non organic as much as possible), bring in more 🥬 leafy greens, wild blueberries, apples, oranges, whatever fruit and vegetable you can. If baby is eating, do the same, heal the liver as much as possible always, zinc, vitamin c, b12 etc (see recommended supplements).

Yeasty rash from drool/ teething : coconut oil with a few drops of tea tree applied to neck or cheeks when rash is present and a day or two later. Must dilute the tea tree a good bit bc it is a hot essential oil. Coconut oil is also antibacterial and antiviral. I recommend around 6 drops and a few hefty tbl spoons mixed in a container and keep it near the changing table. Also keep it dry as much as possible, change bibs a lot.

Medicinal chest for moms
Colds coming on, earaches coming on
Strep, colds, ear infections, throat
*Eclectic institute herb kids lines , they have
kids throat sprays:
– [ ] Echinacea goldenseal throat spray -ear issue, fever etc
– [ ] Elderberry red root throat spray -fever throat issue ,sore throat
They have Kids compounds:
– [ ] Herb cough Elicser for bronchitis,
– [ ] Kids echinacea goldenseal
– [ ] Herbal biotic etc

Ear infection
– [ ] Mullin garlic ear oil
Also zinc, vit c etc

Other maintenance supporting supplements
– [ ] Instead of cod liver oil bc it’s not healthy ,Get plant or algae based with EPA and DHA a little bit of that

Other Maintenance programs for kids or for mommy’s when breastfeeding great for removing Toxins and heavy metals from our children , focus, concentrations and balances the immune system/
– [ ] Hawaiian spirulina
– [ ] Barley grass juice
Can also do when breastfeeding it won’t release heavy metals in the milk

– [ ] Garden of life raw probiotic for kids
Progurt for Australia is the fb groups very expensive but works. MaryRuth also has probiotic

Food allergies , chronic tummy problems : Eliminate the “no” foods and build up their immune system , celery juice for liver
Bugs or digestive problems
Tummy problems
Less sinusitis, less mucus, less colds
Eliminate : “no” foods
– [ ] wheat
– [ ] gluten,
– [ ] dairy products
(Silica is for bones *not milk, *Calcium from oranges or plant based , don’t worry)
– [ ] eggs
– [ ] corn
– [ ] soy

If a fever is happening hydration is critical, you don’t want to feed them food if there’s a fever, it will spike the fever and make it higher in the night, and could dehydrate them more.
– [ ] Liquids and veggie soups
– [ ] veggie broth
– [ ] fresh cucumber juice **** brings down fever!
– [ ] Coconut water “true nirvana” is best brand
– [ ] Fruits
– [ ] Sweet potato

All of this is for older children and teens too. Increase dosages for teens.

Foods for deficiencies:
Fix them at the starting gate and support the children so they don’t have deficient , heart prob, liver, kidney, endocrine system problems etc. things deficiencies
– [ ] BANANAS top foods for children, loaded with amino acid, highly absorbable fat, potassium critical for brain health and development
– [ ] Berries, loaded with phytochemicals, antioxidants anthocyonins are a miracle. Wild blueberries , strawberry, blackberry all other berries that babies would like
– [ ] Apples and pears, phytochemicals, loaded with trace minerals like selenium, maganese and macrominerals
– [ ] Sweet potatoes, winter squash keratinoids
– [ ] Concentration issues: Celery, cucumbers filled with minerals and mineral salts build and strengthen electrolytes whi h build nuerotransmitters which helps children break out or focus problems
– [ ] Dates and coconuts
– [ ] Avocado 🥑
Introduce what you can, the foods you can if they won’t eat them, fussy eaters

Gluten free : pancakes waffle, flours: almond, quinoa, millet, oak

Banana ice cream, ripe bananas frozen put in a food processor for

Breast milk popsicles
Brew Lemon balm tea put it in popsicle mold with fruit juice and raw honey freeze

Steamed Sweet potato soup touch of cinema with nutmeg in a blender

Bottled juices are good when cold pressed , organic fruit, loaded with anthrocyanin, mineral, vitamins, stave off illness, diseases and autoimmune.

some of these are deficiencies from parents

-Mary Ruth vitamins , call company if you want and can ask them or as pediatrician
Get more leafy greens fruits a veggie no matter what diet
Always more leafy greens for any diet there is

Get moms up too
Mary Ruth as well
Mom is also dealing with old deficiencies, takes a long time to complete them. We are burning out our nutrients through adrenaline
Barley grass juice powder everyday
Frozen wild blueberries
Winter squash
Butternut squash

I just want to remind everyone that as per Anthony William breastmilk requires glucose. Glucose comes from high quality carbohydrates. The livers glucose reserves is what determines breastmilk supply. So when dense carbohydrate sources go down such as from cooked starches like potatoes and sweet potatoes supply can drop. It doesnt always drop, it depends on the individuals reserves. If it was low to begin with it will likely significantly drop. Anthony recommends putting some avocado onto potatoes so that the sugars are released slowly for the livers reserves to go up. Not because of the fat content.

Driving with my newborn and husband scare

I’ve never been so happy in my life. I pray my husband and my daughter will be safe everyday and every night. My life feels like it has hope and possibilities and I have a team. I’ve never seen so much in my future and I’ve also never worried so much in my life at the same time.

Today, driving we almost got slammed from behind. We started off driving to social security to change my last name, and they apparently close at noon on Wednesdays, so that that was pointless. Then we drove to get hubby’s sunglasses that he left at the doctor’s. About an hour later we are deciding if we should go home or go get pumpkin coffee. Pumpkin coffee 🎃 won.

On the way to Dunkin the cars driving in front of us came to a pretty quick stop. Thank god I check my rear view all of the time, especially when we stop like that. The car behind me did not stop AT ALL. And was coming at us fast. I swerved over into the middle lane, and we got nipped on the passenger side.

I turned because I didn’t want to block traffic, and she followed me to the train station parking lot. She just kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”. It was a scuff mark. Hubby and I both said “it’s ok, they can polish that out” but he did tell her we have our two month old in the back seat. We got back in our cars and I just looked at her. My cute little two month old daughter. Today was her two month birthday. She had no idea anything happened, just sitting there being cute. She could have literally been smooshed to death. What the hell! I started crying.  My husband said the other driver was in her car crying too.

I pray every night for them to be safe and for the angels to watch over them. I can’t help thinking she almost got squished. Or him too. Next time (god forbid) I should go the other side, so the person will hit my side of the car and not the side with her in it.

I worry every day. I worry my worry will make bad things happen. Matt Khan says God’s not that fickle. I hope not.

I found out that in astrology, right now is a “moon wobble”, which is like an eclipse but because the earth wobbles an eclipse doesn’t happen, but still, bad things can happen, and catastrophic events tend to happen during these, every 86.5 days or so, and it lasts for another few weeks. I wish I didn’t know that. I mean by those standards what are we in a moon wobble constantly?!

I just want my husband and my baby to be here with me forever. I’ve never been so happy and it’s so scary that it could all be gone so easily. He is so handsome and loving and she is so beautiful and perfect. I’ve never been loved like this EVER. I want us to be a normal old couple, old and together forever and can watch our kids grow. Does everyone worry this much? I’ve had some loss in my life, like most people have. I never thought I would be married, to such an amazing man and I thought I’d never have kids, even though I wanted both so much. Now I have them, and I am literally so frieken grateful. Please god let me keep them. I deserve to be happy.

I just put her down for bed and thanked god and the angels. That’s all I can do. I’m also glad I’m a good driver.

What’s your birth story?

As a pretty crunchy mom I was so nervous about giving birth in a hospital. I thought they were going to force all of these vaccines one me and just pressure me into things I didn’t want. I wanted to go natural and skip the baby vaccines because I personally don’t think a brand new baby needs hep b vaccine or antibiotics in her eyes or vitamin k. I did give her vitamin k because it made me so nervous to think about her bleeding out but the next baby I think I will stick with giving her oral vitamin k. I’ll explain why I caved and gave her vitamin k later.

I actually printed out a pretty severe birth plan, edited and gave it to my doctors, including the baby not leaving the room and I prepped my mom and husband to be my backups. As time passed in the hospital I realized these nurses were amazing and were on my side and one even said to my husband “I don’t blame you” to not agreeing to vaccines. The physicians were the ones who tried to push them the most. And not my main doctor. He did not give his daughter all of the vaccines, “only the ones that would save her life” in his words.

I am glad I did so much research and I can share my birthplan with anyone who would like it.

The actual birth of my babygirl was very easy. The giving of birth isn’t what hurts the most (as far as I can remember), they do say a chemical gets released that makes you forget how bad the pain is. Honestly for me it was the contractions which were in my lower back that hurt the most, and were 30 seconds apart by then. You can see my previous post for what led up to the birth. My labor began as feeling like I had to poo, and within 2 hours my contractions were about an hour a part, by the time I got to the hospital they were 30 seconds a part. Everything was very quick.

I immediately wanted to push but they told me not to as they had to wait for the doctor on call to get to my room and get prepped, which she did quickly. Thank god. The doctor I had was not even in the practice I went to, which was annoying to me because as most obgyns do, they make you see all the doctors in the practice, 32-40 weeks, when you start going to the doctors every other week and then every week.

That was so annoying to me because my doctor’s office in an hour away, and being pregnant, in traffic, having to pee, getting done work early, to see a doctor who hardly touched me for the first few appointments was A LOT. Which was actually better then the internals later, but still very inconvenient. Next time I am going to tell my doctor I just want to see him instead of doing the tour because I didn’t even have any of them in the hospital anyway. And I would have been much more comfortable with my main gyno and not being asked the same questions about vaccines every week.

During those last chunk of appointments they just check your blood pressure and listen to the babies heart beat, if your not high risk. I didn’t have an ultrasound since 20 weeks. I saw one Doctor out of the practice who I hated, and was the only one I absolutely did not want. I cried in my car after my appointment with her, as she tried to fear monger me into getting vaccinated while pregnant. (None of the vaccines are tested on pregnant women or babies under 2). All of the other doctors were surprisingly understanding, as were the nurses in the hospital.

It’s not until the last few weeks that you start getting internals again, when they start telling you if you are effaced or dilated.

My first internal I think was at 35 weeks, which I was not ready for and it made me want to cry, I was already 2cm dialated. Which only made me cry more because I asked the doctor what that means and he gave me an estimate of like 2 weeks for the baby to come. I realized it was happening soon and started to bawl. apparently everything makes you cry when you’re in your third trimester. Or when you’re a water sign. The doctor literally walked out of the room while I was crying, and never told me how effaced I was. I made DH (dear husband) come to the next few appointments with me, which was interesting. Him seeing me get internal exams.

The next 2 appointments I was 3cm and 90% effaced. I started prepping my boss that I might go out early. My one friend said “well, at least your body can do it by itself.”

My main doctor later told me, it doesn’t matter which you are, effaced or dilated, or how much, your not in labor until the contractions start. Effaced is how thin your uterine walls are, and dilated is how open your cervix is. My and DH stopped having sex around that time.

My last appointment, my only internal with a woman, who surprisingly was so much rougher and made me bleed a lot. I think she was the reason I went into labor early. Oh and also because I drank red raspberry leaf tea, which is good for your uterus to drink during pregnancy, and after, and good for your milk supply, but can also make you go into labor I guess! She actually guessed 8.5 lbs and she was right.

Back to the actual labor. I am on the table, waiting to be told when I can push. Husband is holding my left shoulder and hand and my mom is next to him. The doctor is at the end of the bed, and next to her are the two nurses.

Something I didn’t know was you only push when you are having contractions, which was easy for me since they were every 30 seconds. My water never broke so I was asking if I can push because I could feel something coming out. My water sack was coming out of me. Which is basically why I didn’t give birth in the car. They also make you push three times for every contraction for 10 seconds each. As I mentioned in my previous post I am a kegel goddess and could have went much longer. Laughing.

My husband is a personal trainer so he loved helping me count 10 seconds and tell me “go to go!” “You can do it!”. He likes to tell people how magical it was to see my vagina open like a flower and the water sack come out. Gross. Laughing again.

The 6th contraction I felt the baby and I knew someone saw her head. The doctor was trying to stretch me out.

The 7th contraction, she gave me an episiotomy,  I’ll get into that later. I felt the baby,  I knew she was ready and I was scared to leave her in the birth canal just sitting there. It was like in the movies when you see from the person in the beds point of view looking up at everyone surround the bed, and everyone cheering me on. So I just pushed my hardest and let out a scream. And I felt her shoulders and then the rest of her bloody slide and wiggle out.



How long was your labor?

“How long was your labor?”

Something everyone asks new moms. You hear stories like…

“Oh my god! Mine was 40 hours long! I had to have my mom hold one leg, my best friend hold my other and my boyfriend dump water on my head!”

Or “you don’t want to hear about my labor”… 27 hours, c-section after laboring for 2 days etc. Well let me tell you mine was the complete opposite. Not every labor is super hard. But a super quick one can have its own set of circumstances to watch out for.

Now, I did use certified crystal yoni eggs which are basically like weights for making kegels more effective, and have healing properties as well. I use Grace Diaz on Etsy, she has her’s certified to make sure there are no chemicals, and that they are the crystals they are meant to be. I can get more into this topic another time if warranted, but most people begin with jade, mediums, or black obsidian to suck out the bad energy, or clear quartz which can be programmed for anything, or rose quartz to show their pussy love.

I also consider myself relatively naturally athletic. But I don’t think that was the only reason my labor was only around 4.5 hours long. My mom also had a really quick labor, at 16, and apparently my Nan had at least one that was like mine where she wasn’t even sure she was in labor until it was too late.

I went into it knowing I was strong and my body would not fail me. Which I think it an important mindset a woman needs to have. Of course I was nervous as most moms are the whole pregnancy that something could go arise, but hopeful all would go well, and it did. I do believe it is important to believe in your body. Women have been pushing 8.5 lb babies out since women were invented by God.

Anyway, my story is this;

My husband got home from work at 9:30ish. My grandmom came over during my lunch break earlier in the day (I work from home) to drop off food and she swore I was going into labor that night. My mom’s husband also bet I was giving birth that Friday (the next day). They were both right. So I put the food in the oven, and waited for DH (dear husband). DH gets home, and I tell him my stomach hurts and I need to go poo. So I go upstairs while he eats, TMI, and I sit on the toilet texting my other pregnant friends, because everyone I know is literally pregnant or was this year. I had two best friends about a week more pregnant than me and one a few days less pregnant than me. So I’m texting them that I’m not sure if I have to poop or if it’s labor. They both tell me that happened to them last week, and they pooped and it was fine. So I keep getting up and sitting back down, nothings happening except I am in pain and feel like I gotta poo. I wish I knew this was a sign of labor.

Earlier that day I found the webmd pregnancy app that has a contraction tool so you can track your contractions. I start tracking. Now it becomes clear that these are real, as the pain started radiating from my lower back to my uterus and then down my thighs. I start telling DH we might need to go to the hospital. I havent mentioned yet that my hospital is an hour away. So I start tracking and they are about a minute and a half apart.

My contractions started at 1.5 mins apart and quickly went to 1 minute.

In the meantime I’m telling DH to do some laundry in case it goes until tomorrow, I’m not thinking clearly. My cat is looking at me like he’s so scared, curled in a ball next to the dog on the bed, while I’m hunched over the side repacking my hospital bag. DH keeps waiting for me to tell him what to do. So now we are about 2 and a half hours after I went to the bathroom earlier, and I tell him ok we need to go, NOW! Throwing clothes in the car, the carseat, and ourselves, we leave. It’s 12:35am. I know because I text my mom we were leaving. I grab a towel literally in case I give birth on the way in the car. I call the Doctor’s office and talk to the emergency line who pages the dr on call and she calls me back. I ask her if I’ll make it to the hospital. She says she has no way to tell me that. We decide to try to make it to the hospital.

I am still tracking the contractions on the webmd pregnancy app and DH is looking at it go down to 30 seconds apart. People in movies are always screaming. I apparently am a quiet person in pain. He was asking if I was ok and all I could do was breath and hold the “oh-shit” handle as he drove 100 miles an hour down 76 with his blinkers on.

We arrive. An hour drive took us 40 minutes because thank god it was midnight on a Thursday, and no one was on the road.

My mom was in the emergency room parking lot waving us down already, and I wobble slowly out of the car, telling her they are 30 seconds a part and we need to hurry. She’s a nurse, so she runs in and grabs a wheel chair. From here on out the receptionist and everyone else are hurrying me through the different stages of registering.

They literally ask you to sign paperwork and give them your identification and make a will, and ask you 100 questions, while you’re having contractions, it’s kind of ridiculous. Luckily everyone realized this was happening quick and to hurry the f up. Honestly they were the best nurses I ever had.

So I go from the initial room where they make sure your having contractions and ask you questions, to the delivery room in about an hour. DH took a picture of me rolling down the hallway at 1:59am holding my paperwork, and an hour later the baby was born.

Everyone congratulated me for the next two days including the hospital staff and laughed about how crazy the whole thing was, and how awesome I did and DH was literally so proud. The labor itself was about 7 contractions worth of pushing and my little one was out. 8 lbs 5.6 ounces, at 38 weeks. Apparently that’s a big baby. Well if I can do it you can too. No sweat 😅. Kidding.

If you are interested and want to read more of my stories or find out about all of the different products and things I’ve tried so far for the baby, please follow me and see my next posts. ❤️